A liar, a murderer, and a thief walk into a bar. The bartender asks, ""what will it be, Mrs. Clinton?""

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*

Old enough to know better, but still too drunk to care.