Wow, I must look really hot tonight working out, everyone is totally staring at me. *walking on treadmill with a candy bar and a Pepsi

I chug everything I drink just so people can't say I have a problem with alcohol. So you're telling me I have a problem with Pepsi too, mom?

I taught my 4yo how to spell 'beer' so he'll stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge.

A horse walks into a bar and asked the bartender for a coke. The bartender says ""Is Pepsi ok?"" The horse replies ""Neigh.""