Michelle takes Sasha and Malia on a trip to Paris for the week. Wanks Obama.

Why won't Malia and Sasha Obama's classmates gossip about them? Because they know their father can read their emails.

*malia passes me a joint* thanks obama

When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet? I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."