Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer

Sometimes I forget I'm from Florida and then I remember when I was 9, my dad had me drive the golf cart so he could get drunk on the course.

85% of baseball's appeal is good weather and alcohol.

Watching soccer gives me the same feeling as watching a drunk guy try to get his key in the door.