Mike was an experienced big game hunter... He went into the woods one day in northern Canada, and saw a family of brown bears. Being the merciless, ruthless hunter that he was (Mike was not Canadian), he shot and killed the whole family. The black bears convened after this. Angry about the last of the brown bears in Canada being killed, they plotted revenge on Mike. They ventured down to America in search of Mike, alas they could not find him. A year or so later, Mike traveled back to northern C…

God save the world from America! Trump's first day at the Oval Office. First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI: Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others. Trump: The Democrats created them. CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby. Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them. CIA: We can't do that. It is Modi in India and not Manmohan. Trump…

So Jesus in on vacation hitch hiking in America... A trucker sees a man and decides to give him a lift. "Do you need a ride?" The trucker asks. "Yea if you'll give me one." So Jesus gets in the car and about 30 miles down the road the trucker asks "Hey buddy are you thirsty I have a cooler full of beer." "I could drink." Jesus replied. They both grab a cold one and head down the road. Not making much small talk throughout the trucker says "Hey buddy are you hungry? My wife makes killer tuna …

America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.