My wife cheated on me after I told her about my watchmaker buddy... I guess I should get a big clock, too.

Just saw a guy checking out my wife. Good luck buddy. I'm married to her and I don't even have a chance.

I'm only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I've always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally.

My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots.