owl friend Today, my owl buddy told me he was getting married. I replied 'you twit, to who?'

My wife cheated on me after I told her about my watchmaker buddy... I guess I should get a big clock, too.

I'm only watching the royal wedding for the bishop. I've always wanted to see a person who only moves diagonally.

My wife reads two books a week and I just told my son that an idiom is a group of idiots.