News: Hillary won the debate! My friends: Bernie won the debate! Trump: I won the debate! Huckabee: Asian people eat dogs!

"If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump." "Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."

I think we should elect Bernie. When Isis hears a Jew is president they will all have heart attacks and die.

The Will. Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: ""My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses. ""My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."" ""My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre. ""Sarah, my dear wife, please take all …