Parish priest A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. ""I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told…

A German taxi driver was on his shift... He is driving one of these Mercedes models that have the Mercedes emblem as a hood ornament. A guy waves him down, so he stops and let him enter. It was a tourist, in town on his first trip to Germany. The driver asks: ""So, how do you like our country?"" The guy answers: ""Oh, it's great. But it is so different from home in many aspects. Some things, I cannot make sense of."" The taxi driver asks: ""Really? Like what?"" The guy says: ""Well, for instance…

There were 2 evil brothers (Repost) There were two evil brothers. They were rich, and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church, and looked to be perfect Christians. Then, their pastor retired, and a new one was hired. Not only could he see right through the brothers' deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers. A fund-raising campaign was started to build a new assembly. All of a sudden, one of the brot…

A 50 year-old woman decides to spend a lot of money on her birthday... ...on cosmetics, wrinkle reduction treatments, a new hairdo, new clothes, etc. When she decides she's done the most she could, she feels really good about herself and decides to go for a walk. First, she enters a shop to buy a magazine. While she's paying, she asks the cashier: 'How old do you think I am?' 'Thirty-four.' 'I'm fifty!' she says, and she leaves very content. She goes into a McDonalds and while paying, she asks t…