A man came home from work and found his 3 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of …

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Jim was suspicious that his wife had been cheating on him. He took off from work early to see if he could catch her in the act. Driving up to his apartment Jim caught a glimpse through an open window of a strange man walking around in his dining room. Now convinced his wife has been unfaithful, Jim stormed into the building and raced up the stairs. Fumbling with his keys at first, Jim burst through the door to find his wife standing in the hallway covered…

Bring me a beer before it begins! Dad loves to tell this joke whenever he gets the opportunity: A guy comes home, takes off his coat and make his way to the living room. He turns on the tv and catches a game. He sits on his favorite couch then kick back and relax. He then adress his wife in the kitchen ""Honey! bring me a cold one from the fridge befores it begins !"" And so the wife brings him a beer from the fridge which he prompty drinks. ""Honey! an other cold one befores it begins"", the ma…

Three men in line to Heaven Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, ""Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"" So the first man replies: ""Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my …