A man goes on vacation... And calls up his buddy to see if he'll watch over the house and, more importantly, the cat. ""Sure thing, Jim! You know I love Tiger! You just enjoy your trip and I'll call you if anything pops up."" Two days later, Jim is sunbathing on a cruise ship when his phone rings. He recognizes his buddy's number and answers the phone. ""Jim... I'm not sure how to tell you this... Tiger died yesterday. He ran out the front door and was hit by a car."" After a moment for the shoc…

Pulling Together A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, ""Pull, Nellie, pull!"" Buddy doesn't move. ""Pull, Buster, pull!"" Buddy doesn't budge. ""Pull, Coco, pull!"" Nothing. Then the farmer says, ""Pull, Buddy, pull!"" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch. Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. ""Buddy's blind,"" said the farmer. ""And if he thought he was t…

The $40 joke Steve is going out for his buddy's bachelor party. It's been planned for months. He gets home from work and quickly starts getting ready. His lady, Tina, surprises him with a fancy dress shirt for the big night. ""Aw thanks babe, it's amazing"". She tells him it was really expensive but ""he's worth it and it's a big night"". He leaves and meets the lads at the bar. No time for food, apparently and they dive straight into shooters. 8 shots in, no food and Steve stands up and pukes a…

So a buddy of mine was riding his motorcycle... (This is a joke that my own, dearest father got me with today.) ...and, you know how the underneath of the bike can get pretty hot, under the motor. Well, his boot caught fire! He looks down, and sees that it spread to his pant leg, so he reaches down and tries to pat it out with his glove, and his damn shirt sleeve caught fire! So he pulls the bike over immediately, and he's patting at the flames trying to put himself out, when a cop pulls up behi…