I can't afford a police siren so I just taped a crying baby to the top of my car. It's working, people are moving out of my way.

Why is it whenever we see a police car, we drive like we have 10 kilos of cocaine and a stolen baby in the car?

The Police come right away when you tell em your baby is locked in the car... They don't however think it's cute to call your phone baby..

Three girls are trying to escape the police. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead when they finally think they're in the clear. Relieved, they stop at the shops. The brunette goes to the pet store and buys a cat, and the redhead buys a dog, while the blonde goes to the supermarket next door and buys a sack of potatoes. They return to their car, and the police have resumed chase. They pull over and the brunette says, ''I know! If we make the noise of the animal we bought they might not catch us!'' …