It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car

Volvo was rated the safest car in America in '94. That's why Kurt Cobain had one, he didn't want to kill himself.

An old man is in his Volvo driving home from work... ... when his wife rings him on his cellphone. "Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now; some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway". "It's worse than that!", he replies, "There are hundreds of them!"

An old man is in his Volvo driving home from work... ... when his wife rings him on his cellphone.