A fascist, a billionaire and a president walk into a bar... ...and he says ""one beer please"".

[Election 2016] A pretty girl, Santa Clause, and the most popular kid from your high school walk into a bar. They all offer you a drink and their friendship. Who do you choose? You first choose the pretty girl. You find out you have a lot in common, shes just like your last best friend, and as a bonus, you can cross the first girl to have ever bought you a drink off you list!. But then you realize something: She put the drink on your tab, and shes got BAGGAGE! You find out she's in a shitty marr…

A Polish guy walked into a bar... ... in Poland. He announced that he had withdrawn his entire fortune, 100,000 zlotys, from the bank, invested it in gold bars, and put them into a safe in his house. This was back when a zloty was worth something, so the other patrons immediately started to argue with him: ""You're an idiot! What if you get robbed? It's much safer in the bank."" ""The banks are about to fail,"" he responded. ""But they can't fail, they're backed by the Polish government!"" ""...…

A man and his wife were discussing what they thought their son might be when he grew up. ""I have an idea,"" said the father. He put a ten-dollar bill, a bottle of whiskey, and a Bible on the coffee table. ""If he takes the money he'll be a banker. If he takes the whiskey he'll be a wino, and if he takes the Bible that means he'll be a preacher."" So the man and his wife hide just before their son comes in the door, and watch from where they're hiding. The boy saunters over to the coffee table. …