I'm going to kill you doctor! My friend's dad, a doctor in South Africa, once had a difficult elderly patient who'd had a stroke. His wife was trying to gain power of attorney, so they insisted on a mental assessment. The patient was furious: "You made me see a psychiatrist! I hate psychiatrists! I was in the ARMY, I'm going to kill you!" The doctor asked, "Oh, you were in the army? How many people did you kill?" The patient, still fuming, replied, "More than 10!" The doctor chuckled and s…

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant... An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, ""We have three possible donors. The first donor is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second donor is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. And, the third donor is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?"" ""I'll take the lawyer's…

An elderly woman visiting her Doctor While at the Doctors office she starts talking about how depressed she had been ever since her husband had passed. She asks the Doctor ""if you were going to end it all how would you do it?"" The Doctor puzzled about the question but can see the pain in her weepy eyes. He replies ""oh I don't know, I guess a shotgun to the heart would guaranty the outcome."" The Doctor finishes up the exam and the elderly woman is released by the Nurse. On the way out the eld…

A Policeman, Heart Surgeon, Lawyer, Grandfather and his Grandson are flying in on a plane... ...They hear this load bang, and then some alarms go off. ""Uh...This is your captain speaking. We seem to have taken damage to our engines and the plane is going down. Please grab a parachute and exit the plane immediately. Because this is not a ship, I don't plan on going down with it"" The passengers watch as the pilot jumps out of the plane. In a panic, they quickly scramble to the parachutes, only t…