A joke my Pastor told during the sermon today Two brothers are staying overnight at their Grandma's house. The Grandma says, ""Now, don't forget to say your prayers before you go to bed tonight!"" So they both get ready for bed and are sitting in the bedroom. Kneeling beside the bed, the older brother then begins to pray, ""Dear God, I wish I could get a new bike for Christmas."" Hearing this, the younger brother yells out MUCH louder, ""DEAR GOD, I ALSO WANT A NEW BIKE FOR CHRISTMAS."" The olde…

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says ""I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."" ""Pop what are you talking about?"" the son screams. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer"" the old man says ""We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her"" and he hangs up. Frantic the son calls his sister who explodes on the ph…

An elderly man in Texas calls his son in New York... and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old dad explained. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!". Frantic, the son calls his sister, w…

Grandma and Grandpa Grandma and Grandpa are sitting at church on Easter Sunday, and Grandma leans over and whispers, "I just let out a silent fart, what should I do?" Grandpa leans back and replies, "You should get new batteries for your hearing aids!"