No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead.

The duck hunter Grandpa was a keen country sportsman and one day he decided to take his grandson shooting with him. Togged up in all his hunting gear, shotgun broken across his forearm, he proudly led little Jimmy down to the lake side. After waiting patiently for a while a lone duck came into view flying over the lake. ""Now watch this Jimmy,"" says Grandpa. He takes careful aim and fires. The duck flies serenely on. ""My boy,"" exclaims Grandpa, ""you are witnessing a miracle. There flies a de…

A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing... 'He's like a fish out of water.' 'You mean he's having trouble adjusting?' 'No, I mean he's dead.' -Mike Close-

Two brothers lived together with their grandmother and her cat. The first brother went on a business trip, and when he arrived at his destination, he checked into his hotel, and called his brother at home. ""I made it safe and sound"" he said. ""How is everything?"" ""Bad"" said the second brother. ""The cat is dead."" ""WHAT?!? How could you be so insensitive to tell me like that?"" The first brother exclaimed. ""You could have broken it to me slowly by saying the cat is on the roof, but you've…