Dance like nobody's watching, sing like nobody's listening, Tweet like the NSA doesn't exist.

The NSA has been tracking phone records for Verizon customers. They skipped AT&T because those people can't complete calls.

Job interview with the NSA Applicant: Would you like references? NSA: We have everything we need. App: You guys! NSA: I know, right!

I thought I lost my car keys, but the NSA called and said they were in my other pants.