Why we put an angel on top of the Christmas tree: Santa was having a rough Christmas Eve. His elves were on strike. Several reindeer ran away. Mrs. Claus was being bitchier than normal. And, he had to work all night. Without any help, he wrapped up the presents, put them in the sack, and loaded up the sleigh. As he was taking off, the sack got caught on the garage and ripped open. Presents spilled everywhere. While he was picking everything up, an angel showed up. This beautiful, cheery heavenly…

A lady goes to a tattoo parlor and gets a tattoo of a turkey on her left thigh. A week later she gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on her right thigh. The artist asked what's the significance. she replies turkey is for Thanksgiving, Santa is for Christmas. My husband complains there is nothing to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, now he can't complain

"Santa Claus" A girl is sitting at the edge of a tall building, contemplating suicide on Christmas day. Santa Claus sees the girl and sits down beside her. "What's wrong my child?" asks the man. "I have no job, no friends and no one who loves me and today i'm reminded of this even more.. there's no point." Santa Claus thinks for a moment and replies: "What if i were to grant you 3 wishes, would that change your mind?" The girl's eyes light up and she asks for her first wish " I want a beau…

There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys in…