Do you know how we know that Santa Claus is married? Because he only comes once a year! Merry Christmas. P.S. I'm sure this joke has been told somewhere but just in case someone hasn't heard it.

Why we put an angel on top of the Christmas tree: Santa was having a rough Christmas Eve. His elves were on strike. Several reindeer ran away. Mrs. Claus was being bitchier than normal. And, he had to work all night. Without any help, he wrapped up the presents, put them in the sack, and loaded up the sleigh. As he was taking off, the sack got caught on the garage and ripped open. Presents spilled everywhere. While he was picking everything up, an angel showed up. This beautiful, cheery heavenly…

"Santa Claus" A girl is sitting at the edge of a tall building, contemplating suicide on Christmas day. Santa Claus sees the girl and sits down beside her. "What's wrong my child?" asks the man. "I have no job, no friends and no one who loves me and today i'm reminded of this even more.. there's no point." Santa Claus thinks for a moment and replies: "What if i were to grant you 3 wishes, would that change your mind?" The girl's eyes light up and she asks for her first wish " I want a beau…

Tasty Tattoo My girl just got a tattoo of a turkey on one thigh and Santa Claus on the other. She wants to show that there *is* something good to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas.