Freudian Slip Two friends are at a bar talking about embarrassing situations they've had. The first friend says ""Man, last week, I had a really bad Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my fiancee and her mother and our waitress at the restaurant was really curvy and attractive. While ordering I meant to ask what the soup of the day was, and it came out ""What's the boob of the day?""! I was really mortified!"" The other friend replies, ""I know exactly what you mean. Just last night I was ha…

2 long time friends bump into each other after a long time of not seeing each other. They start talking. Friend#1: Oh hey, I haven't seen you since your wedding, how are the kids? friend#2: Oh they're fine, how have things been with you? friend#1: Everything is great, what say you we go out to eat? friend#2 All right, I know a place around the corner, real fancy place, they serve great steaks and wine. They arrive at the restaurant. they sit down and they order the most expensive meals they can …

An old multi-billionaire is lying on his deathbed... And he calls his 3 best friends into the room.   ""Now look,"" he says, ""I know I won't be alive much longer, and you know I love my money. I want to prove to my family that you CAN take it with you when you go. So, to keep them from getting their greedy mitts on my money, I'm giving each of you one billion dollars of my money to keep in trust until my funeral, at which time you will place the money in my casket before they close it.…

A guy gets married and his friends prank his honeymoon When the guy gets back home he confronts his friends. He tells the first friend, a carpenter, that it was pretty funny sawing the legs of the bed so it would break. He told his other friend, a plumber, that it was pretty funny reversing the hot and cold faucets. He told the third friend, a dentist, ""you, however, are a son of a bitch for putting novocaine in the KY!""