20 Things to do Before You Die... 1) Look at see through glass and when someone is on the other side shout ""OH MY GOD, I'M HIDEOUS!"" 2) Bring a big chair into the elevator facing away from the door and when someone walks in, dramatically turn and say 'we've been expecting you.' 3) Walk up to someone, hand them a potato, look them in the eyes and deadpan 'with great power, comes great responsibility.' Walk away. 4) Call someone to tell them you can't talk right now. 5) Point at someone and shou…

Obama calls Putin Obama: ""Hey! What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?"" Putin: ""Turkey""

Obama calls Putin and asks abut his Thanksgiving. Putin: Turkey is about to be cooked.

I wrote this one myself. (It's better then that redtile disfunction joke) There was a guy named Shawn and he lived near a really little town in the western plains of Texas. This town was really just a dot along a highway and didn't get much traffic at all. There was one gas station, a diner, and a little dollar store with necessities and household items. Shawn worked at the store, his first job. Shawn did stocking, and cleaning, and sometimes helped out on the register. It was an easy job and ne…