Me: "I need a home improvement loan." Banker: "What will you be using the money for?" Me: "A divorce lawyer."

A doctor and his wife were having lunch... ...and a beautiful young woman walks by and winks at the doctor suggestively. She cooes, ""How's it goin', doc?"" and walks away, hips swaying. The wife, confused, asks, ""Who was that, dear?"" The doctor took a sip of his wine and said casually, ""That's my mistress Arielle."" The wife was shocked and in tears. ""I can't believe you're cheating on me! I'm going to divorce you and take everything you have, you lying bastard!"" The husband calmly puts hi…

The Kind Lawyer One day a very rich lawyer was going in his Limousine car when he saw two men along the road who were eating grass. he was shocked to see the sight and ordered his driver to stop and he got out to see that what is going on. He asked one of the men that why they were eating grass ""We are very poor and can't afford food,"" the poor man replied. ""We have to eat grass."" ""Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you"",the lawyer said. ""But sir, I have a wife and…

Lawyer with a Heart One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, 'Why are you eating grass?' 'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat grass.' 'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you,' the lawyer said. 'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.' 'Bri…