Classic jokes modified to Donald Trump and Putin One day while walking through the countryside the President of Russia discovered an old lamp. He started to polish it and out came a genie who told him that for freeing him from the lamp he would grant him one wish. Putin thought for a minute before declaring, ""I am a poor simple man with simple needs, therefore I wish that Putin pee vodka!"" The Genie exclaimed that Putin's wish was granted and disappeared in a poof of smoke. Putin runs home and…

A redditor walks in to bar... The bartender says, "what'll you have?" "It's been so long since I've had a good laugh", replies the redditor. "I'll give you $100 if you can tell me a joke I haven't heard before." "That sounds easy enough", replies the bartender. "I should warn you", the redditor says, "I browse /r/jokes so I've heard them all over and over and over again". Curious, the bartender pulls out his phone and browses /r/jokes for a few minutes. "How about this?" he asks, "A m…

I find it odd that my son's teacher would like to see him skip grade one without knowing how horribly he screwed up when doing our taxes.

I automatically write off anything Donald Trump says because someone with that much money has no excuse for that hair.