A laptop made in the United States is a portable device. A laptop made in Mexico is a deportable device.

United States: There's 5280 feet in one mile. Rest of the World: What even is that? United States: Lol, we made it up.

Border Security Idea: Make the door to Mexico too small for sombreros.

I threw a parking cone at someone. I am the drunkest person in the United states.