A 50 year-old woman decides to spend a lot of money on her birthday... ...on cosmetics, wrinkle reduction treatments, a new hairdo, new clothes, etc. When she decides she's done the most she could, she feels really good about herself and decides to go for a walk. First, she enters a shop to buy a magazine. While she's paying, she asks the cashier: 'How old do you think I am?' 'Thirty-four.' 'I'm fifty!' she says, and she leaves very content. She goes into a McDonalds and while paying, she asks t…

What do a Catholic Priest and McDonald's have in common? Both like to stick their meat in 10 year old buns.

A joke my mom heard a priest tell in church today: An elderly couple to decide to live a little and go to McDonald's... When they order the food, the old man divides the fries in half and splits the burger in two. Some students see this and offer to buy some more food so that they can both eat a whole sandwich. ""No, no, that's fine,"" says the old man, ""We share everything."" So the old man starts eating his half-burger and his half-order of fries-- but his wife is sitting there, not eating he…

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, ""I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"" ""About 35,"" was the reply. ""I'm actually 47,"" the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, ""Oh you look about 29""…