What's the difference between Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump? Reagan helped tear down a wall.

What do Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad have in common? They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15.

In 1987, we had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope... ...now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.

Why do the Gorillas like Jimmy Carter? They don't really know - but they're NUTS about him!