Van Gogh hands a wrapped up box to his girlfriend. ""Vincent, please tell me this isn't another ear."" ""What?""

Van Gogh's girlfriend.. Van Gogh's girlfriend was overwhelmed with emotion when he cut off his ear and gave it to her. She said, ""Oh my love, why did you do it?"" Van Gogh replied, ""pardon?""

Her: What brings you to speed dating? Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU