Monkey Business On A Bus This guy has a monkey and he wants to go down to Florida for spring break, so him and his monkey get on this Greyhound bus and head down. On the way there's a terrible crash. The bus drives off the road and everyone on board dies. It's a horrible bloodbath with body parts scattered everywhere. Everyone is dead at the scene except the monkey. The police are trying to figure out what went wrong. They have no witnesses. It was a single-vehicle accident. So they bri…

*shaves 'I Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*

Texting while driving: Bad. Wrestling a shark while driving: STILL LEGAL! WOOHOOO!!!

Saw a hawk swoop down over the highway and fly off with a snake in his mouth and I can't even switch lanes while eating a Twizzler.