*shaves 'I Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*

Texting while driving: Bad. Wrestling a shark while driving: STILL LEGAL! WOOHOOO!!!

Ghost cat: how'd you die? Ghost dog: i bit a guy that ran over my best pal and they put me down GC: i got hit by a car GD: I know GC: ilu

i argued with the parrot at the pet store until it got sold away and the guy who bought it wouldnt let me in his car. that means i won