Four Jokes about Bars (which you will only understand if you're a total nerd) 1. Two men walked into a bar. The third one ducked. 2. A chemist and his friend walk into a bar. The chemist said, ""I want H2O!""The friend said, ""I want H2O, too."" He died. 3. Two men walk into a bar. The first orders one bottle of beer, and the second orders half a bottle. The bartender notices a growing line of customers and pulls out two bottles just as the third customer begins to order a quarter bottle, but then stops and stares at the bartender as if he is an idiot. 4. Two men walk into a bar. The first orders a bottle of beer, and the second orders half a bottle. Two more men in a rapidly growing line of people order a third and fourth of a bottle, then the bartender yells, ""ARE YOU TRYING TO DRIVE ME OUT OF BUSINESS?""