😄 Why would Superman have won any race he ran against Roy Roger's dog? Because he was faster than a sp...

Texting while driving: Bad. Wrestling a shark while driving: STILL LEGAL! WOOHOOO!!!

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"David you're late again!" "Sorry boss.." [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] "...traffic"

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I just hit a duck with my car. Wasn't even in it. Incredible strength.

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To the first two people who thought Superman was a bird or plane... why the hell were you so excited?

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