"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.

My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.

The conditions inside my car have drawn attention from my boyfriend, my mother, and the Center for Disease Control.

Boyfriend wants me to eat loads of purple candy so I can "dye" his balls for Easter. He better trim the grass first.