Power went out in my office building & a maintenance guy said Transformers blew. Um yeah it was a bad movie buddy now what about the power??

me: this MAN thinks he's ENTITLED to my time! hey buddy i don't OWE you anything!! my boss: do you...know how jobs work

A guy walks into a doctor's office... ...with corn in his ears, a carrot shoved up his nose and a potato in his butt. Doctor says, ""Buddy, you're not eating right...""

A man walks into a bar... A man walks into a bar with a sad look on his face. The bartender asks ""What's the matter, buddy?"" ""I just got fired from my job. I don't know what I'm going to tell my wife and I've got two kids to look after."" ""Look, I tend to keep this to myself, but over in that closet there is a genie who will grant you one wish. Maybe he can help you out."" So the man heads over to the closet. Inside it's larger than he expected and there was actually two people inside. One s…