The Beach Boys walked into a bar. "Round?" "Round?" "Get a round." "I get a round?" "Get a round . . ."

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*

Old enough to know better, but still too drunk to care.