Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ?” Student: “Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

Little Johnny comes home from Sunday school with a black eye. His father sees it and says, ""Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?"" ""But Dad, it wasn't my fault. We were all in church saying our prayers. We all stood up and my teacher in front of me had her dress in the crack of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out. That's when she hit me!"" ""Johnny,"" the father said. ""You don't do those kind of things to women."" Sure enough, the very next sun…

"Hey mom, I talked to my teacher after school and she says 'hump day' isn't a real holiday... She also asked what you do for a living."

- Dad, why don't we visit Greece to see pyramids? - Son, why don't we visit school to see your geography teacher?