Baby Soldier: Ma'am. Your husband is MIA. Soldiers wife: *covers crying face with hands* Baby Soldier: Oh great! Now his wife is MIA too.

Don't Fall Asleep in Church A man who went to church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this. One Sunday, she took a long hatpin with her to poke him with every time he would doze off. As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out, ""And who created all there is in six days and rested on the seventh?"" She poked her husband, who came flying out of the pew and screamed, ""GOD!!"" The minister said, ""That's right, that's r…

Wife just gave birth to our second child and told me I need to appreciate her more I promised to worship the ground she stomps on

A man goes to a fortune teller. She lets out a gasp. ""What is it?"" he asks. ""Your future is very grim, my child."" says the fortune teller. ""What is it? Tell me!"" responds the man. ""I cannot say it, but I will right it down."" says the fortune teller. She writes down something on a piece of paper and hands it to the man. The man stuffs it in his coat pocket without reading it. Later that evening, the man tells his wife about the experience. ""Show me the piece of paper then."" says his wif…