As a doctor, I once had to remove the spine of a pirate He was all for it and said ""It was holding me back""

Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank

ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know

THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise