Some historic anti-Nazi jokes from Germany Hey there. I thought, I'll take the time and translate you some of the so-called ""Flusterwitze""(whisper jokes) from nazi Germany. * The old code of law seems to complicated, so it has to be changed. From now on, there are only three laws: 1. If you do something, or fail to do something, you are punished. 2. The penalty is determined by the peoples emotion*. 3.What the peoples emotions is dictated by the Gauleiter(governor). (1934/35) (original: ""gesundes Volksempfinden"" translates to ""healthy emotions of the populace"". The nazis used this as an excuse for mob violence agains Jews in the early days) * The mayor of a small rural town is ordered to identify the local communists. Not knowing how to find out who they are, he calls Berlin and asks for help. The tell him: ""Communists are people who don't want to work but expect to earn a lot."" The mayor answers: ""Well, we got two of those: the preacher and the teacher.""(1933) * ""The government just bought the Sahara?"" - ""Why?"" - ""So they can cast more sand into peoples eyes."" (sand in the eyes = to pull the wool over ones eyes) (1938) * There can't be any elections in the forseeable future. - Why? - There was a break-in at the ministry of propaganda and the result for the next elections have been stolen from Goebbels desk. * The Fuhrer always keeps his promises. He promised us work and bread - he didn't say anything about butter. * A man wants to buy a pig from a farmer, but he says it has to be an aryan pig. ""What's that?"", the farmer asks. ""Well"", the man answers. ""It has to have bristles like Hitler, a snout like Goebbels and a belly like Goring!"" (1934) * At a press meeting Goebbels tells an American journalist: ""If Roosevelt had something like the SS, there wouldn't be any Gangsters left in the US!"" The yournalist answers: ""Of course not. They would all be squad leaders by now."" (1934) * What's the difference between christianity and national socialism? - In christianity one man died for all, in national socialism all men are expected to die for one."" (1944) * Q: What do you get for a new joke? - A: Six months in Dachau. (1938)