It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them... The Police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...

Three girls are trying to escape the police. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead when they finally think they're in the clear. Relieved, they stop at the shops. The brunette goes to the pet store and buys a cat, and the redhead buys a dog, while the blonde goes to the supermarket next door and buys a sack of potatoes. They return to their car, and the police have resumed chase. They pull over and the brunette says, ''I know! If we make the noise of the animal we bought they might not catch us!'' …

A woman in Wisconsin gets gypped by a dealer, so she calls the police saying that she was guaranteed only the ""highest quality shit."" The police offer pauses for just a moment and says, ""I am APPALLED that he would do such a thing! Take me to him right now!""

TIL that although Sting has been missing for a week... The Police still have no lead