"Dad, what's the difference between love and lust?" - Well, ya know your teddy bear? "I love it" - While you're at school, the dog lusts it.

Forgot to buy a gift for a friends Wedding. Luckily someone died at an intersection nearby so I scored a cool wooden cross and a teddy bear

Hey, I lost my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

Reddit, trade Sean Connery jokes with me (warning: contains shockingly bad puns) The joke I heard here that started it all: What time does Sean Connery show up at Wimbledon? *Tennish* Now, thanks to that discovery, I'm stuck in a tour van with four dudes and we are all hopelessly addicted. Here are what I consider to be our top ten: 1. Did you hear about Sean Connery's fish fry? *'Twas a bash* 2. What kind of trousers does Sean Connery sell at his pants store? *All shorts* 3. Did you hear Sean C…