So my friend Greg recently changed his name to Gregory. I swear to god he's gonna re-Greg it.

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot? Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

Hate it when we run out of clean towels so I have to ride my white stallion Gregory up and down the driveway real fast to dry my mullet

Me: *grabs a donut from conference room* Incredible powerpoint, Greg "Excuse me ma'am, do you work here?" Me: *grabs another donut & runs*