"Oh my god! That guy's dead! Oh wait, he's totally fine." (someone watching soccer for the first time)

As far as I know original golf joke So what does a bogey have in common with a dead golfer? One too many strokes.

Just returned from my Friends Funeral. He died from being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.

At my funeral I want a dozen doves recaptured.