Never too soon for Joan. I learned to adore Joan Rivers as an adult, and though the world should miss her presence, we shouldn't feel too sad. She lived a long and productive life, had an outstanding career, supported equal rights for all citizens, and ultimately, she went out doing what she loved, which is getting surgery. We'll miss you Joan. Though she may have passed, Joan Rivers will always be with us, not only in our hearts, but as non-biodegradable remnants that will remain in our soil fo…

A woman driver caught speeding was told to pull over to the side of the road. Realizing she didn't have her seat belt on, she quickly buckled up before the police officer reached her window. After lecturing her about speeding, the officer said: "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Most definitely, officer," she replied. "I see. And do you always wear it looped through the steering wheel?" Buying a used rental car is like going to a house of ill repu…

Louisiana Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating. Jeff Foxworthy

It was mealtime during a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the flight attendant moved down the plane, she asked one of the passengers: "Would you like dinner?" "What are my choices?" said the passenger. "Yes or no," replied the flight attendant. You know you're in trouble when at the control tower, there's a note taped to the door that says, 'Back in five minutes.' Jeff Foxworthy