STOP PUTTING SIRENS IN MUSIC FOR PETE'S SAKE! I let my hair down & undid two buttons before i realized i wasn't getting pulled over!

"Pete's coming for dinner tonight." "Pete from work or Pete who thinks he can walk through doors?" [Massive thud] "I'll just check."

Old maid's burglar A story I'll tell of a burglar bold Who started to rob a house; He opened the window, and then crept in As quiet as a mouse. He looked around for a place to hide, 'Till the folks were all asleep, Then said he, ""With their money I'll take a quiet sneak."" So under the bed the burglar crept; He crept up close to the wall; He didn't know it was an old maid's room Or he wouldn't have had the gall. He thought of the money that he would steal, As under the bed he lay; But at nine o…

So there's my friend Pete... So, I have a friend named Pete, who is a bit of a hippy. He's got plenty of ""causes,"" but he's particularly into animal rights--it's kind of annoying sometimes, but whatever. As it so happens, he's also into Mediterranean food--all vegan, organic, and locally-sourced, of course. So when his usual store ran out of his brand of bread, it was kind of a big deal. He ended up dragging me all over town, all afternoon looking for some grass-fed, free-range ethnic bread. I…