Freudian Slip Two friends are at a bar talking about embarrassing situations they've had. The first friend says ""Man, last week, I had a really bad Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my fiancee and her mother and our waitress at the restaurant was really curvy and attractive. While ordering I meant to ask what the soup of the day was, and it came out ""What's the boob of the day?""! I was really mortified!"" The other friend replies, ""I know exactly what you mean. Just last night I was ha…

2 long time friends bump into each other after a long time of not seeing each other. They start talking. Friend#1: Oh hey, I haven't seen you since your wedding, how are the kids? friend#2: Oh they're fine, how have things been with you? friend#1: Everything is great, what say you we go out to eat? friend#2 All right, I know a place around the corner, real fancy place, they serve great steaks and wine. They arrive at the restaurant. they sit down and they order the most expensive meals they can …

An old multi-billionaire is lying on his deathbed... And he calls his 3 best friends into the room.   ""Now look,"" he says, ""I know I won't be alive much longer, and you know I love my money. I want to prove to my family that you CAN take it with you when you go. So, to keep them from getting their greedy mitts on my money, I'm giving each of you one billion dollars of my money to keep in trust until my funeral, at which time you will place the money in my casket before they close it.…

Two buddies are in the woods hunting.. One says to the other ""Hey! I can see your house from here! Your wife is cheating on you!"". The other replies ""I'm sick of her! Shoot her in the head and the guy she's with in the private!"" The first friend replies ""Thanks for saving my ammo, I can get them both in the same shot!"".