I appreciate the transparency Domino's pizza tracker provides, but updates like "Carl dropped your pizza" & "5 second rule" are a bit much.

A man finds a gorilla in his tree. One morning a man wakes up and looks out his second-story window only to see a big mean looking gorilla sitting in his tree. A bit panicked, he googles ""gorilla removal"" and finds a local animal removal service. The removal service owner responds that he will be right over. A half hour later there's a knock at the door and Carl, the Animal Remover, steps inside. On the kitchen table Carl sets down a pool cue, a small kennel containing an very cranky chihuahua…

500 dollars Dave, Carl and Carl's wife, sara were playing cards on Thursday morning. Dave's card fell under the table and when he went down to get it, he saw that Sara was not wearing underwear. Dave got back up and went to kitchen to get some refreshment. Sara followed her into the kitchen and asked, "did you like what you saw under there?". Shocked by her boldness, Dace hesitantly replied positively. Sara then said, "you can have it but it costs $500" Dave agreed to pay that sum for it. S…

Carl comes to Australia and goes to Woolworths’s (Ubiquitious grocery store in Australia). He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food and goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy cannot have a cat and will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks Carl to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. Carl goes home and returns with a cat and gets to buy the cat food. Next week Carl finds dog food at special prices. He picks a…