The 10 best jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe 2014 1.""I've decided to sell my Hoover ... well, it was just collecting dust"" - Tim Vine. 2.""I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set"" - Masai Graham. 3.""Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief"" - Mark Watson. 4.""I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s"" - Bec Hill. 5.""I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn't let me"" - Ria Lina. 6.""Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal"" - Paul F Taylor. 7.""Scotland had oil, but it's running out thanks to all that deep frying"" - Scott Capurro. =8.""I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame 'cause halfway through he disappears up his own a***hole"" - Kevin Day. =8.""I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven"" - Jason Cook. 10.""This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it"" - Felicity Ward.