The top ten one-liner's from this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival (as voted by the viewers of the Dave channel). 1. ""I've decided to sell my Hoover ... well, it was just collecting dust"" - Tim Vine 2. ""I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set"" - Masai Graham 3. ""Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief"" - Mark Watson 4. ""I was given some Sudoku toilet paper. It didn't work. You could only fill it in with number 1s and number 2s"" - Bec Hill 5. ""I wanted to do a show about feminism. But my husband wouldn't let me"" - Ria Lina 6. ""Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal"" - Paul F Taylor 7. ""Scotland had oil, but it's running out thanks to all that deep frying"" - Scott Capurro 8. ""I forgot my inflatable Michael Gove, which is a shame 'cause halfway through he disappears up his own a***hole"" - Kevin Day 9. ""I've been married for 10 years, I haven't made a decision for seven"" - Jason Cook 10. ""This show is about perception and perspective. But it depends how you look at it"" - Felicity Ward HONOURABLE MENTIONS ""I go to the kebab shop so much that when they call me boss in there it's less a term of affection, more an economic reality"" - Ed Gamble ""Leadership looks fun, but it's stressful. Just look at someone leading a conga"" - James Acaster ""I bought myself some glasses. My observational comedy improved"" - Sara Pascoe