A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says ""I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."" 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. ""We can't stand the sight of each other any longer"" the father says. ""We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her."" Franticly, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the p…

The Memory Man... A man from Liverpool, England was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Native American man sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. ""Who's he?"" asked the Liverpudlian. ""That's the Memory Man."" said the bartender. ""He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember every face he's ever seen. He can remember any fact he hears or reads…

Eric is in Hospital Who the hell is Eric ? Well,Eric is the geezer who got home late one night: Marilyn his wife was waiting for him with .... ""Where the hell have you been?"" Eric replies ""I was getting a tattoo!"" ""A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"" ""I got a hundred quid note tattooed on my willy"" he said proudly. ""What the hell were you thinking?"" she said, shaking her head in disgust. ""Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred quid note tattooed on his willy?"…

Police Investigators looking into the suicide of Robin Williams are following a lead which may have initiated his depression, and have arrived at the scene. Old Trafford. . Sorry I should have put the punch line here :( P.S. RIP Mr Williams. P.S.(2) Viva Leeds United